VILLAINOUS WOMEN #5

DEMI MOORE

CHARLIE’S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE

DEMI MOORE as Madison Lee – As deadly with a pistol as she’s careless with a coat

She was the highest paid actress in Hollywood history

This was the mid 90’s. The check cashed was a cool $!2.5 million for STRIPTEASE, making it the most expensive lao dance in stripper history. Demi Moore was the female actress at this point thanks to the dawn of the decade box office hat trick she scored. Starting with GHOST, the highest grossing movie of 1990, and then the one-two punches of INDECENT PROPOSAL and DISCLOSURE. She was still married to smirk-off Bruce Willis, he himself riding high thanks Quentin Tarantino and Terry Gilliam. Demi Moore had it all, including Hollywood by the sack.

And then Striptease happened.

STRIPTEASE – Moore wasn’t shy showing her tatas, Burt Reynods wasn’t shy to see them.

The movie is a goofy mess. Nearly everyone is a cartoon. Demi Moore’s character is woefully underwritten, leaving her to play straight woman to all of the loud and eccentric performances.

Critics couldn’t wait to savage the flick because that’s just what they do. Their reviews were not pretty. Then came GI JANE. While it was a moderate success, the production was plagued with talk of Moore’s costly demands being tacked on the budget. The diva had landed.

Exacerbating the star’s loss in trajectory was her personal life had taken a huge hit in the midst of all this. Moore and husband Smirky McSmirkstein, who also was experiencing a three film slump that would’ve sent most actors to Movie Jail and straight to the Billy Baldwin Block. However thanks to the impact and influence on the acton movie genre made by a little movie named DIE HARD, it minted Smirky Boy as a bona fide Movie Star.

That means no matter how many stone faced, straight to DVD performances he makes in a seemingly odd ball quest to beat Steven Seagal’s incredible streak of low budget, shitty flicks, Willis won’t ever see the inside of a Movie Jail cell.

Bruce Willis – still silently holding a grudge against us all for not embracing HUDSON HAWK

Whew! Took a bit of a detour down Tangent Road. That’s my fault. I tend to do that when drunk. Or talking about the only actor to smirk walk his way through an entire movie. But, hey let’s shake this off. Enough talk of the bitter, morbid, pale shadow of a former performer and lets get back to the real reason we’re here.

Demi Moore returns as good girl gone bad

CHARLIES ANGLES: FULL THROTTLE – When T met A Cameron Diaz and Demi Moore

From the moment she shows up on shore of the sandy beach the Angels are staking out, Demi Moore absolutely owns every second of her screen time. It’s more like Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and Lucy Liu are co-starring in a Demi Moore movie rather than vice versa. How many female actresses alive today can do it as effortlessly as the icon who rose from the Brat Pack ashes. Very damn few, that’s how many.

While it’s true the movie is pure bubble gum popcorn cartoony camp carried by the chemistry of our three leading ladies, it’s Moore who keeps one foot solidly in the silliness, she’s dipping a toe in the dark dramatic water. From what she delivered and to mix metaphors, Moore was just scratching the surface of her vilainous abilities.

It’s clear Moore relished the role and her return to making movies. Sun bronzed bod, those hazel green peepers, and of course her signature smokey voice. Those elements combined with her easy breezy way in which she inhabits the screen, returning somehow even sexier than when she left us? That’s raw, untapped talent in triumphant return.

It’s unfortunate Moore didn’t use the momentum to catapult back to the top of the A-list. She’s got plenty of dough though so no need to go for more roles that just were’t out there at the tail end of the 90’s. Any ass kicking chicks in flicks were played for the same camp stamp director McG applied in huge dollops. There wasn’t SALT or ATOMIC BLONDE available for Moore to auction for.

There’s no doubt Demi Moore could convincingly portray a camp-free bad ass. All she needs is a chance.

Demi Moore: can we get this beautiful lass playing a badass in the next JOHN WICK flick?

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